An Ode To Cody Parkey

Unless you have been living under a rock these past few weeks, you would know the name Cody Parkey. He is the Bears kicker that missed a game-winning field goal as time ticked down, ending the Bears historic season. People have expressed themselves in different ways, some with anger:

Others with empathy:

I personally started out in a state of shock, which then turned to anger, which then went back to shock. After a few nights to ponder over this, I decided to express my feelings through poetry (I am aware I wreak of class). So without further ado, here it is:

"An Ode to Cody Parkey"

The Bears searched far and wide for a guy that could get us three.

And for 15 million dollars, they went with Cody Parkey

He showed real promise in Philly, and as a 'Fin

The Bears were really confident that they can turn to him to seal a win

But the doinks became standard, as you did it 8 times

And the Bears fans would cringe when they would hear that familiar chime

The day was January 6th, and the lights were shined bright

All of Chicago was beyond ready for their team to win the fight

The wind was mild, the grass was green

But all of Chicago was thinking how you hit more rails this year than Charlie Sheen

With a chance to once and for all silence the chants of "Fly Eagles Fly"

What we got was a double doink, one that made all of Chicago die

He missed it! He missed it! Everyone was silent and in shock

Silence turned to outrage, and tomorrow's headline was already reading "Parkey Death by a Glock"

Now the season is over, ending in blood, sweat, and tears

And today we sound like a Cubs fans saying "Well there's always next year"

So now we enter the offseason, one where we want the front office to make moves that are bold

But the first order of business should be to bring back Robbie fucking Gould!