Bulls Collapse Offers Fresh Reminder Of Idiotic Moves By Front Office

Can we just skip to the part when the Bulls get blown out at home in Game 6 to be eliminated from the playoffs? We all know it's coming. Can we skip to the part when Gar Forman and John Paxson offer up their obtuse observations of a wasted season in a postmortem press conference? "Well, we reached the playoffs with our retooled roster but were unfortunate to lose a key player to injury after two impressive road wins." We all know it's coming. The Bulls' front office wonks will treat this season, and a hard-fought battle against a "#1 seed", as a success. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Gar hired a graphic designer to make some gaudy "Mission Accomplished!" banner to serve as the backdrop for this disgusting presser that Bulls fans are already dreading. After all, what was the goal GarPax laid out a year ago after they failed to make the playoffs for the first time in nearly a decade? They wanted to focus on developing young talent, but also add veteran leaders who could teach the young guys in a "winning environment." Retool while remaining competitive. Technically, they achieved that goal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hou0lU8WMgo For a brief moment, some of the more gullible Chicago fans started to buy that bullshit the team's front office has been shoveling all season. "Wow, Rajon Rondo is playing great! Jimmy Butler and Dwyane Wade are taking turns being clutch in the 4th quarter! Role players are stepping up! The '3 Alphas' plan is working!" But one little fractured thumb brought everything crumbling to the ground. That should tell you just how poorly the structure, as a whole, was designed. As head coach Fred Hoiberg grasped at straws in two pathetic home losses, Bulls fans were offered fresh reminders of the countless missteps his bosses made between last April and this one. (For the sake of time, we'll stick to the GarPax mistakes of the previous 12 months. Let's not even touch the fact that Hoiberg - their guy - looks completely incompetent in his first NBA playoff series.) Where to begin...

Point(less) Guard

Seeing as Rondo is the trending storyline for a panicking fanbase right now, let's start with the Bulls backcourt. Specifically, the point guard position. Rondo played undeniably well in the first two games in Boston. Not only did he successfully push the pace offensively, get to the rim and find open looks for his teammates, he played smart and spirited defense for the first time in years. Fun while it lasted, wasn't it? The news of Rajon's thumb injury hit Chicago fans like a tidal wave prior to Game 3, because everyone knew what that meant. "Oh for fuck's sake, are you telling me we have to start either Jerian Grant or Michael Carter-Williams? Are you telling me that both of them will have to play substantial minutes? Welp, we're done here." Clearly this was not hyperbolic panic. Just look at what the two-headed monster accomplished in Games 3 and 4 combined: 8 points on 3-13 shooting, 5 assists, 9 turnovers and a plus/minus of -39 in 51 minutes on the floor. Yikes.

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Plenty Of Terrible Options

Grant and MCW were both so awful that Hoiberg resorted to playing Isaiah Canaan for 34 minutes in Game 4. Canaan was a forgotten man in the rotation for most of the regular season. In fact, he had more DNP-CDs than minutes after the All Star break. Surprisingly, Canaan shook off that rust and contributed to a Bulls comeback in the third quarter. Unsurprisingly, he struggled to keep up with Isaiah Thomas the longer he stayed on the court. You can't expect a player to go from months of inactivity to playing 30+ minutes in a playoff game without conditioning becoming a factor. It's crazy to think that Canaan (whom Hoiberg confirmed will start Game 5) will become an important role player for the Bulls as they try to bounce back in this series. But what other options does Fred have? Grant and MCW look completely useless. He chose Canaan over Cameron Payne and Denzel Valentine, whose combined 8 minutes of action in this series came in garbage time of the Game 3 blowout loss. Fred needs to fill the 34 minutes Rondo averaged in Games 1 and 2. He has five point/combo guards to choose from, but he doesn't really trust any of them. As bad as Hoiberg has been finding a steady and successful rotation this season, having 5 dud guards on his bench is not his fault.

They Did That

That fault falls on Gar and Paxson, who constructed this roster. They got Jerian Grant in the packaged trade of Derrick Rose and were excited for his potential as the point guard of the future. Removing a brief hot streak from behind the three point line midseason, Horace Grant's nephew looks incapable of the simplest tasks. He can't get the ball up the floor cleanly if he's met with any defensive pressure. His entry passes to the post are sloppy and he's not great at creating his own shot. So he's not a pass-first point guard or a shoot-first point guard. Another way to identify that would be "not a point guard." They traded Tony Snell for Michael Carter-Williams. At the time, Bulls fans couldn't believe management was able to get anything for Snell, a consistently disappointing draft bust. Fast forward to the present, and we've all realized we got fleeced on that one. Snell had a resurgent season with the Bucks and is giving them meaningful minutes in their playoff series as they try to upset the Raptors. Carter-Williams is getting stuffed on drives, throwing bricks off the side of backboards and proving that the "at least he's a long and talented defender" theory was a hilarious falsehood. They drafted Denzel Valentine with the 14th pick in the 2016 draft. It's unfortunate that the rookie injured his ankle in preseason, but that excuse only lasts so long. Unless the Bulls PR team is hiding something, the kid's been healthy for a while now. So why has he not been able to crack the rotation? Is Valentine actually worse than Grant, MCW and Canaan? Judging from Hoiberg's rotation late in the season and against Boston, that's the only logical answer. If Denzel is truly that bad, the front office deserves the blame for selecting him and over-hyping his NBA potential. They brought Cameron Payne to Chicago at the trade deadline. This trade is so much worse than the Snell-MCW trade. At least that was a shot in the dark involving just two role players in need of a change of scenery. But at the deadline, unsure what to do in their "compete while developing young talent" season, Gar and Paxson gave two of their top six players and a draft pick to the Thunder for Payne. Joffrey Lauvergne and Anthony Morrow were contract-evening afterthoughts who will likely be gone next season. From the Bulls' perspective, this was all about getting something for Taj Gibson and Doug McDermott. What they got was a kid with a limited skillset that doesn't fit either backcourt position. Hoiberg was so unimpressed with Cam in his first handful of meaningful minutes that the second year player spent most of March and April playing for the D-League Windy City Bulls. Despite the vomit-inducing play from Grant and MCW, Payne's been inactive for 3 of their first 4 playoff games. But never fear, Gar and Paxson have high hopes for him being the "point guard of the future", just like Grant. ...My eyes just rolled out of my head.

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Old Guys

Now that we've covered the who's who of ditch diggers the front office gave Hoiberg at the point guard position, let's talk about the old guys for a second. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xebEj0rV6m0 Yes, Rondo came back from his benching (which he handled with the utmost professionalism) and provided a necessary spark for the Bulls offense down the stretch of the regular season. He kicked it into an even higher gear to lead his team to a 2-0 series lead with marvelous play in Boston. But signing Rondo was still a mistake. There's a reason Fred benched him in the first place. He wasn't dictating the fast pace of the offense Fred wants. He wasn't setting the tone defensively or even putting forth adequate levels of effort on that end. For large parts of the season, Rondo looked like a washed-up veteran playing an obsolete style of the game. It's no coincidence the Bulls didn't have much competition for his services on the free agent market. And yet, they still payed Rajon $14 million this season. "Here's $14 million, we're really excited to have you on boa--oh, wait. Just kidding. We're benching you in favor of a collection of ditch digging toddlers." That is peak idiocy from GarPax. Wasted money, wasted time, wasted everything. Now we arrive at the dumbest thing GarPax did this season: the overdue arrival of Chicago native and Bulls unicorn Dwyane Wade. The guy the Bulls always wanted but could never get. Well, one ego-stabbing slight too many from Pat Riley and Wade suddenly wanted out of Miami. But here's the problem: just because GarPax could finally get Wade didn't mean they should. Help me out, Goldblum. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRNX6XJOeGU The Bulls executives were so giddy about the selling potential that Wade would bring to a floundering franchise that they didn't stop to think if he was actually a wise investment for their basketball team. Sure, they sold Wade as having championship experience, leadership, intangible qualities and blah, blah, blah. But riddle me this: what's so great about a leader who calls out his young, impressionable teammates for not caring enough when he's caught dogging it on defense 90% of the time? GarPax clearly didn't care about that. They slapped Wade's name on new team merchandise and handed him a two year, $47 million contract. Dwyane's losing the battle against Father Time as all great athletes do, and it's glaringly obvious. Other than an 11-point burst in the 4th quarter of Game 2, he's been awful in this series. He can't jump, he's lost a step in his isolation game and he refuses to play any defense. Wade admitted as the regular season concluded that he was saving his aging body for the playoffs, but we haven't really seen those benefits through four games. The really ugly truth to this GarPax gaffe is that most other NBA managers aren't stupid, and neither is Wade. Based on his performance this year, there's no way any team offers him the $23.8 million the Bulls owe him next season. If he has any humility at all, Wade knows this. When he begins his decision process this summer, here are his options: Option 1: Opt into his second year, stay in his hometown Chicago where his family has comfortably settled and earn another huge payday to be a glorified "leader" who can get away with not trying. Option 2: Opt out of his second year and figure out what other NBA teams think he's worth. Likely take a big pay cut and relocate his family again. ...If you're Wade, and you have a lick of sense, Option 1 is the clear winner. Who cares if the Bulls still stink? He's already got three titles and a Hall of Fame career in the bag.

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Wade is staying, folks. GarPax will pay him the other half of his grossly overvalued contract, and get little return on that investment. The Bulls brass could've said "thanks but no thanks" to Dwyane last summer and spent that money more wisely - like on shooters to put around Jimmy - but they just couldn't resist. And speaking of staying, don't be surprised if GarPax see what Rondo meant to this team in their inevitable playoff collapse and decide to pick up his option for next season. That means Round 2 of Three Alphas. Honestly, do any Bulls fans want to see that? Does anyone think that's what this team needs to finally steer themselves in a clear direction? Short answer is no. But that's what the front office has in store for us next season. They're the reason this team collapsed after a Rondo injury, and they're the reason this team won't pick a fucking lane and stick with it. Most Bulls fans already knew that, but a couple of surprising playoff wins had some people forgetting. Don't let a little lipstick on a pig distract you from the fact that the pig broke out of its muddy sty, found its way into your house and took a shit on your kitchen floor. But don't worry. When that inevitably happens, GarPax will be there with a "Mission Accomplished!" banner and a blue ribbon for the pig, because that was their plan for the pig all along. "We actually wanted the pig to defecate on the floor. He's younger and more athletic, which leads to more healthy bowel movements and blah, blah, blah." Whichever way they decide to spin this season, GarPax will see themselves as being correct. Despite all of the shit-covered pigs this season gave us, those two weren't wrong in predicting a somewhat competitive team with "young talent" that needed "developing." They were technically correct. The best kind of correct for front office executives defending their next-level stupidity to an angry and impatient fanbase. So, I resubmit my opening proposal: can we all just agree to skip to the part when that happens? We all know it's coming, and we don't need to subject ourselves to two more games of this garbage to get there. Time is money, people. And I'm finished giving the Bulls any of mine for a while.