Bulls Cast Away From Desolate Island With GarPax Steering The Raft

The setting: a dark cave on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean. The players in the scene: A scrawny, unshaven middle-aged man and a blood-stained volleyball. And...action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgh0nSkIy04 For those Bulls fans who struggle with analogies and metaphors, allow me to explain. They finally did it. They left the island.

Jimmy & Wilson

Gar Forman and John Paxson's plane crashed in the middle of the open ocean when their newly-minted max contract superstar Derrick Rose tore his ACL in the spring of 2012. They washed up on the shore of a tiny island. The scattered remains of the crash washing up for days, weeks, even months after the accident. Can any of these soaked packages save them? Keep them alive? An aging and exhausted Luol Deng. An aching Joakim Noah. Various bench mob pieces like D.J. Augustin and Nate Robinson dutifully serving like makeshift knives to cut open coconuts. It wasn't always pretty, but they got the job done. The job was merely surviving. Some time after they collected themselves from the crash, GarPax found an unlikely friend. His name was Jimmy, but for the purpose of this story let's call him Wilson. Wilson gave GarPax hope. He gave them a reason to keep surviving. He gave fans a friendly face to look to when they were driving themselves mad with constant feelings of hopelessness and abandonment. Fans clung to Jimmy Butler like Tom Hanks clung to that volleyball: this is my only friend on this godforsaken rock. All we have is each other. But how many one-way conversations can you have before the realization creeps in that you're talking to a volleyball and not a real person? How long until GarPax realize that while coconuts like Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo might keep you and Wilson alive, the life you're living is pointless if you spend it stuck on this rock in the middle of nowhere? GarPax finally made that realization on Thursday night, and they finally acted on it.

Build A Raft

So what do you do if you're stuck on a desolate island in the middle of the ocean? You build a raft. -- Let's talk strictly basketball for a second, before you all accuse me of losing myself in metaphors and ignoring the facts. Am I thrilled with the package the Bulls got in exchange for Jimmy Butler? No. Did they get equal value for arguably a top-15 player in the league? Absolutely not. But no one ever does. Open your eyes, people. The reason GarPax held onto Butler as long as they did (probably a year too long) is because they were trying to get equal value and couldn't. Both members of the front office did their radio show rounds on Thursday night and Friday morning and said they were surprised by how small the market was for Butler. So what can you do? If you've decided that trading him now is the best move for the organization going forward, take what you can get. The longer they wait, the smaller the offer gets. Look no further than the package Sacramento received for DeMarcus Cousins. Yes, I'm worried about Zach LaVine's torn ACL. I was underwhelmed by the performance of Kris Dunn (whom the Bulls coveted greatly in last year's draft) during his rookie season. Lauri Markkanen looks to be a great fit as a stretch forward in Fred Hoiberg's offense, but his defense is a dumpster fire. Giving Minnesota your #16 pick as part of the deal? Awful. Trading away your second round draft pick for cash considerations when you're starting a rebuild? Go home, you're drunk. Every frustration Bulls fans have expressed over the last 24 hours, I get it. I'm there with you. But you've got to look at the big picture. For every judgmental and skeptical question fans have thrown at the front office since this Butler trade happened, I would counter with the same two questions. 1) Can the Bulls legitimately compete for a title sometime in the next few seasons with Butler as their best player? 2) If the Bulls kept Butler through his current contract, would you want to pay him $250 million to stay in Chicago for the back half of his career, aged 30-35? GarPax have been asking themselves those two questions for a while now. They finally decided the answer to both was no, and acted accordingly. I don't respect much about this front office, but I respect that. --

Oddball Oars & Lost Captains

Now that they've decided to build this raft and leave the island, what are the tools at GarPax's disposal? They've got a 35 year old Wade, who's not changing his mind on opting in for $23.8 million. Then there's Rondo, who they can either bring back for $13.4 million or buy out for $3 million. That decision will come soon, but it's anybody's guess what happens. Rondo, like Wade, can be kept on board to offer leadership to the kids. A palm fronds rudder for a makeshift raft, if you will. Or they might try to trade his flexible contract in order to free up minutes for all of those kids who need minutes to develop. As for these kids, I'm not too excited about the cluster of guards Hoiberg has to sort through. Who gets priority minutes between Jerian Grant, Cameron Payne, Denzel Valentine, Kris Dunn and Zach LaVine? Good luck figuring that out. Can Paul Zipser take another step after a promising rookie campaign? That'd sure be nice, considering he's now the #1 small forward on the depth chart after Butler's departure. Will Bobby Portis bounce back after a disappointing second season? What about Cristiano Felicio, assuming he's brought on board? Will veteran center Robin Lopez find a spot on this raft, or will GarPax decide to leave him behind in exchange for more fresh supplies for the long journey ahead? To be determined. Does Nikola Mirotic get on the raft, despite the preexisting knowledge that he'll be paddling one day and weighing it down the next? I sure as hell hope not, but that sounds like the plan. The contents and characters of that raft don't sound very pleasant. And make no mistake: the Bulls will be bad next season. I'm talking 20 wins, unwatchable, semi-decent opponents easily scoring 120+ points bad. BAD. But that's not the big concern. They're supposed to be bad. GarPax chose to rebuild, and that's what rebuilding teams do. They lose, in the hopes that a high lottery pick can land you a franchise-changing star. The big concern, for me anyway, is that GarPax will be the ones captaining this makeshift raft through the turbulent ocean waters of a full-scale rebuild. They'll be making the navigational decisions. Which direction off this rock most likely puts us in freight shipping lanes so we can be found by a passing cargo ship? Based on recent evidence, these sea captains couldn't even find the ocean from the raft they're floating on. Fred Hoiberg, their first mate, will be in charge of rationing supplies and turns at the oar for the young and overwhelmed shipmates. Ol' Freddie didn't do such a bang-up job with the rationing while they were on the island. His captains said as much. In open water, it will only get harder.

They're Off

It will take time, and large stretches will surely be rough, but at least the Bulls have options now. They're not just eating coconuts and clinging to Jimmy as their only means of pointless survival. As Tom Hanks' character Chuck so boldly states while arguing his case to Wilson:

"Well we might just make it. Did that thought ever cross your brain? Regardless, I would rather take my chance out there on the ocean than to stay here and die on this shit-hole island, spending the rest of my life talking to a goddamn volleyball."

Losing his friend Wilson broke Chuck's heart. For years, Wilson was all he had. But if Chuck doesn't let Wilson go and get his starving ass back on that raft, Chuck dies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQa4ttIyNo I know it's hard for Bulls fans to say goodbye to Jimmy, and I know the sting is worsened because you feel like we got cheated on the deal. Jimmy was our Wilson in the traumatic years that followed Rose's ACL plane crash. A comfort, a friendly face, something - nay, someone - to keep us going. To help us survive. But it was time to let Jimmy go. It hurts to lose someone you love, but as Bulls fans we're still alive. And at least we're off that stupid fucking rock in the middle of nowhere. We're on a raft now. Let us pray for kind winds, wiser captains and dutiful shipmates. WILSON, I'M SORRY.