We Couldn't Even Get To Opening Day To Find the Worst Take In MLB: Jose Abreu Is Better Than Kris Bryant

There are so many things wrong with this article, but shoutout to Norm Elrod for this flaming hot take right before Opening Day yesterday. Our pal here, E-Rod, threw this out on Thursday for CBS Chicago.

Hmmm, all right. Before even clicking that any fan could have easily guessed what E-Rod's argument was going to be. Jose Abreu has hit more home runs and RBIs per season during his career compared to Kris Bryant. Yet, even the whole "Abreu hits more home runs" argument is kind of false, because if you take out both of their injury-shorten 2018 season, Bryant actually hit more home runs than Abreu from 2015-17, hitting 94 to Abreu's 88. Guess what, that was E-Rod's first point! Via CBS Chicago.

The White Sox first baseman is coming off an injury-shortened 2018 campaign that, not surprisingly, saw a dip in his numbers. Despite hitting .265 during his 499 at-bats last season, Abreu is still a career .295 hitter, who will slug over .500 and put up 30+ home runs and 100+ RBIs.

It gets a lot better. The very next sentence.

He’s healthy now, and his Spring Training numbers show it: .323 BA, .600 BA, 4 HRs, 19 RBIs in 65 ABs.

Later in his article.

Bryant has only done it once in his four years with the Cubs, and he may not get there in 2019 either. This year’s Spring Training numbers — .200 in 40 ABs, while slugging .375 with 2 HRs, 6 RBIs — don’t portend good things to come.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Our boy Norm using spring training stats to support his argument that Jose Abreu is better/is going to be better than Kris Bryant?

This is in no way trying to put down Jose Abreu, because he has been a stud for the White Sox, but he's not even the best first baseman in the city of Chicago let alone the best player. By the way, if we're using spring training stats to try and justify the best player, then David Bote is at the top of the list after his incredible performance down in Arizona. Or how about Mark Zagunis, who won a roster spot with his Cactus League play. Oh and, if we're going to get really technical with Norm Elrod's wording, then I have some more bad news about Jose Abreu being the best Chicago player. Here's what E-Rod wrote.

While the Cubs should contend this season — and the White Sox absolutely should not — Chicago’s best player doesn’t play his home games at Wrigley Field. Sorry, Kris Bryant, but Jose Abreu is the player to watch in Chicago.

In terms of "best player to watch" you can make the easy argument that Javier Baez is actually the best player to watch solely as an entertainment factor. Plus, you know, runner-up as MVP, while playing gold glove defense at multiple positions. Anyway, there's no team in MLB that thinks Jose Abreu is better than Kris Bryant, not even the White Sox. And this was totally written by Hawk, who also though Todd Frazier was better than Kris Bryant. I'm not even going to go into the "nerd" stats, but holy shit is it a blowout there for Bryant over Abreu too. Oh and you know, all Kris Bryant did in his first three MLB seasons is win Rookie Of The Year, then MVP and then put up even better numbers. Classic Hawk Harrelson, I mean, "Norm Elrod."