MLB's Suck Ass Blackout Rules Gotta Go

I live in Austin, Texas. I'm from Chicago. I am also a die-hard White Sox fan. There are two flexes I've established since becoming an adult with a semi-functioning writing career: be the house that gives out the full-size candy bars on Halloween, and every season, I buy the MLB package with every team. Do I ever watch any other team outside the White Sox? Maybe the Cubs, you know, see what the enemy is up to, but generally, I like knowing I could watch the Pirates play the Giants if I wanted. What we don't have at our house is cable. I'm one of almost 50.1 million people who cut the cord because streaming is a way better option for my lifestyle. I got tired of scrolling endlessly between episodes of Ghost Bros and reruns of the Office. Cable sucks. What sucks more is that you miss out on local broadcast games thanks to MLB's archaic blackout rules when you don't have cable. Despite not living in Chicago and paying $160 for the season's access, I still couldn't watch one of the Cubs/White Sox games because it was on ABC of all networks and broadcast nationally. Trying to watch the Field of Dreams game, I had to keep downloading and erasing Fox Sports Network and getting my hour preview on my Roku. I almost missed the Tim Anderson walk-off, and if I had, I'd of straight spin kicked my television while motherfucking the MLB suits into the grave.

How do blackout rules work, anyway?

Because I live in Texas, if I wanted to watch Rangers or Astros games, I'd be screwed. I love that the streaming option lets me watch from anywhere. So, MLB can sell the rights to any network that wants to broadcast the game nationally. They can't mess with local broadcasting agreements because every team negotiates their contracts with regional networks. (This is starting to sound like ERCOT and how the Texas power grid was designed. Remember when the snow hit down here? Because it's all broken up and doesn't play well with other power sources.) Many powerhouse teams like the Cubs, Red Sox, Yankees, and Dodgers all have their networks, which makes things even harder with local broadcasting agreements.

Blackouts are a business Svengali

Thanks to partnership deals, teams make over two billion dollars. Every team knows this, and with MLB's profit-sharing bloodlust, they can't screw up their deals with local cable providers. We know the blackouts aren't to get fans into the stadiums, that's bullshit, and everyone knows it. The league is built on revenue generation, and depending on where you live in the country; you could be fucked if you want to watch your favorite team. I get lucky because I live in Texas and am a White Sox fan. But what about the Astros fan who wants to watch his team of garbage can beating assholes? They've gotta endure the bellicose rules of the MLB caste system of sitting through endless commercials and tough start times. What's the point of the MLB package if you're local to the team you cheer for?

Does MLB care? Nah. These are the rules:

"…all live games will be blacked out in each applicable Club's home television territory… – Home television territory blackout restrictions apply regardless of whether a Club is home or away and regardless of whether or not a game is televised in a Club's home television territory. – U.S Clubs may be subject to blackout outside of the United States based on their home television territory as determined by Major League Baseball. – All live San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics games will be blacked out in the U.S. territory of Guam."

What the hell did Guam ever do to the Bay Area?

People are bailing on cable left and right, but that doesn't even matter. Give those who bought the MLB package the freedom to watch games no matter the provider. Why can't MLB dip into both worlds? I paid my blood money to watch the White Sox. That alone should be a reason to get to skip the Geico commercials. I'm already mad thinking about the playoffs and hopefully World Series. It looks like I'll be watching from the bar where they've got every sports channel available, and Jameson, too.